It’s been a while…
Really, it has been what… months? Yeah, most likely.
I dunno why I’m writing this now, probably because I wasn’t here for Nick’s birthday, and I felt bad for it, mostly because I didn’t seem to give much attention to it, like I would before, because I have changed.
So I decided to write this… call it the last page if you want, the last post, the farewell - how poetic…
As you may have noticed, all of you that still check my blog for updates, know that I’ve left. I always said I would once, and I also said that I’d never delete it because it’s part of me, a huge part of me, that not only made part of my life, but that also helped me to cope with many struggles. Many would ask me not to leave, and I’d always say 'Okay, not now then…' but the time has come. I know that this is just a fan blog, and that many of you are just followers, but there was a time when all this wasn’t just a blog, it was my life, and many of you were not - and aren’t - just followers, but friends, amazing people… almost family, my little family as I would always call it! And damn, it was good and nothing could stop it.
My mom always said that, just like many fangirls, I was having a fase, and I know it wasn’t, if you ask me I’m still a huge fan of the band to whom I dedicated this blog, but times change, and so do I, in fact we all do, and when I started seeing what I always tried to hide, my 'crush' faded a bit… because I got disapointed, not only with the fandom, not only with the crew itself, but with the band too.
Many of you know that I’m always ranting, because I say what I think, and I don’t usually change my opinions to please anyone, at least no one that is not willing to understand me, as many did, and hurt me in ways that I’d always ask myself 'Why am I on this fandom?' Well because I love the band, yeeess, but you don’t need to be here dealing with all the crap to be a fan.
I was in many 'dramas', most of the times because some people just don’t know how to socially behave - there, said it, ooopsy.
Everyday I’d come to my computer, and try to have fun, enjoy the band things, and then booom, without even knowing I’d be in the middle of stuff that was none of my business, but that people would always try to get me into…
That’s when I started to back off. I started by 'cleaning' my Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr.. well everything, and that’s when I realised that I was feeling quite better. Till the moment that I left all of it, now that was challenging, because this was part of my life, but I thought to myself that I was being stupid, that if I have the music, then I have it all…
The fandom thing is all beautiful, until you see what lies beneath, and sometimes it’s nasty, really.
So I left, I didn’t stop being a fan, and I know that many may have thought 'She was not that big fan as she always said she was', well guess I am, but now I found other ways, healthy ways let me tell ya…
I tried to get back here, but I believe that many people may have felt the same way I did, because they’re not here anymore, and this certainly isn’t what it used to be, but I’m glad that I was part of it.
I am truly sorry, but I had to get this written down, I had to share my feelings…
I know that many of you will not read this, but since it’s my last post, well… hopefully many will give up on checking this blog.
No, I won’t delete it.
No I won’t give it away, it’ll stay like this, frozen.
Maybe one day I’ll come back, but I dunno… probably not, certainly not.
So I just wanted to say goodbye.
It was great, it was lovely… you are lovely.
I’ll always be there for those that still care, and you’ll always have a space in my heart, my little family, eh!
Thank you very very much, really…
Girls On Film-Duran Duran
Hungry Like The Wolf - Duran Duran